Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
