the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
