your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
