my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I can't turn off my feet"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
