She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
