There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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