While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
