I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
