i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
