Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
