Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
operation harelip BJ is a go
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
tequila makes me forget i have legs
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
