it was like his penis was on wheels.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
