Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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