shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
