Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
