I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
