you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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