I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
