we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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