I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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