I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We have so much sex to catch up on
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
