I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
