Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
