everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
