You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
