i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
