I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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