i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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