Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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