It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
