Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
