i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
