I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
