And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
