I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
