So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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