So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
we're making bets on your personal life
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
