I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
