I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
