Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
