tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
So squirting runs in the family.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We have so much sex to catch up on
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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