She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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