You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
