the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
