it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
