please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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