this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
