There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
