I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
