I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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