You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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